Thursday, 31 March 2011

New Season Checklist for the Angler With OCD
















Well....the first day of the season is upon us. Tomorrow, the wonderful Derbyshire Wye opens for trout fishing. Some of England's finest and most enthusiastic anglers will descend upon it's banks clutching fly boxes full of dry flys, eager to land a specimen fish or two.

During the season, the angler with OCD quickly establishes a routine. Each pocket in his waistcoat holds exactly the same item of kit as it did on the previous outing, each fly in it's correct slot on the appropriate row within the fly box, colour coordinated of course. If you're anything like me, arriving at the river bank and opening ones fly box to find colours mixed up, flys the wrong way round, and heaven forbid, nymphs among the dries, is a sure sign of a frustrating day of tangles, swearing, high blood pressure and of course, no fish. Worst still is when the eager angler arrives at the bank to discover he's forgotten a vital piece of angling equipment, such as his reel, or even his rod, days like these are best forgotten and never again talked about...

And so I've been inspired by one of the Wye's most famous anglers, Richard W, who has devised a checklist to help the angler avoid unnecessary forgetfulness. It's perfect. Follow Richard's checklist and you cannot go wrong....unless you have OCD like me and you'll be rearranging yourself for a fortnight before you even wet a line. So I've devised my own list, that's more realistic to my angling day, and is inspired by some of the other 'anglers' about me.....you know who you are.

Please feel free to leave a comment to add to the list and as with Richard's list you will not require some of the items on some of the waters you fish so simply miss them off for that day, for instance, on the first day I intend to fish the Wye I'm missing out the item 'rod' cos I'm going to catch f*ck all....

I've tried to keep my list chronological and it begins before I leave the house. Can I just add a disclaimer in here, any rude or obscene suggestions have been donated by Glen Pointon.

  • Paracetamol
  • 2 Pints of milk
  • Toilet Paper (pref Izal)
  • Pie
  • Benson and Hedges
  • Wading boots
  • Thing for scraping dog muck off wading boots
  • Waders
  • Rod
  • Checklist?
  • Money to replace flies lost in trees (£85 per day)
  • Stella
  • Dry fly box
  • Wet fly box (NOT WHEN FISHING THE WYE!!!)
  • Pie
  • Liverpool accent phrase book in case of meeting Glen Pointon on the bank
  • 50 spare flies in case of meeting Glen Pointon on the bank
  • Tie (WHEN FISHING THE WYE!!!)
  • Spare underpants? (GP was adamant about this one)
  • Mucilin
  • Gink
  • Vaseline (GP)
  • KY(GP??)
  • Large unhooking mat (for JT)
  • Intermediate unhooking mat (for GP)
  • Small unhooking mat (for me)
  • Pie
  • Reel
  • Line
  • Tippet 
  • Blood pressure pills
  • Fly fishing by JR Hartley
  • Razzle (GP)
  • Weed (GP)
  • Little black book
  • Valium (for GP)
  • Poo bags (for GP) 
  • 36 more cans of Stella (for JT) 
  • lie detector (essential for the bragging/exaggerating angler)
  • Weigh net (for GP!!!)

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